great week, 9 days to go.

The last time I was 9 days out, I did not feel like this. I'm happy, excited and ready to get on stage, yes still nervous and working on my "stage presence", which is not easy for me. I am exhausted feeling pretty banged up, but mentally I am in a much better place this time around. I have very little cravings where as last time I kept thinking about my cheat foods and glass of wine. Of course I will have something good and maybe even a drink, but its not something I obsess over like I did in the past.

Its not exactly easy to eat 100% clean all day for 12 weeks, but in doing so it made me realize I don't "need" those things like I thought I did, and to be honest the pleasure is so momentary and I usually feel like crap after eating junk. Not so much guilty, I literally feel sick, unmotivated and then comes the crash. So why bother?? I am by no means perfect, I am not saying I wont indulge EVER, but the point of it starts to make little sense when for a moment I'm in heaven but then spend the next few hours feeling yucky.

I have always been a really healthy eater, avoiding processed foods, instead choosing clean organic foods majority of the time. BUT when I wanted to cheat I did, and it usually set up a series of cheats. My attitude was well I eat so "good" all the time, I can be "bad" too, I earned it. Then after one cheat it was like well I blew it so I'll keep going and get back to being "good" on Monday. Monday night would sometimes be blown too. Well Tues-Fri I will be "perfect". I never even realized this until a few weeks ago as I was trying to figure out how I had gained 30 pounds over the course of about 4-5 years. Of course there was always the 10 sometimes 15 pound drop thanks to the diet of the month, I would feel good but it wouldn't last and I would slowly creep back to my higher weight. Then my "ideal" weight kept getting higher, because I thought the previous goal was impossible to get back to. It was just this non stop battle with myself. I thought I could only lose weight being on a "diet" was so gung ho at the start, then felt deprived and would fall off, and on and on and on...

This is exactly the reason I started to train for the show, I needed something that wouldn't allow me to get off track. The idea of being in a bikini onstage was scary enough to keep me in check. I remember saying to my trainer one day that I was so afraid of the "after" part of the journey, would I just revert back? It was easy to stay on point having a big challenge, what if there wasn't a countdown to "show day" keeping me in line?? Well the show ended, I had some of my favorite things and realized it was just ok. I preferred eating clean, I felt better, trained harder and had more energy.

Training this time has been for different reasons, because I wanted to do the actual competition and being in much better shape I had a better starting point, and wanted to push myself even harder. My goal is still to do my personal best, and I could care less about what place I come in, but I have to say I LOVE this sport! Is it for everyone? definitely not, but if I can do this anyone can..

Today was a good day, 5 am tough cardio session, noon training session and then posing with my trainer and his boss after.. Lots of laughs, James showing me how to "work it". Former body builder dude helping me with my stage walk! Its so necessary at this point of training to be able to belly laugh!!

If it were really that easy!

So as I was browsing today in a supplement store a young woman approaches me and asks my opinion on "Fat Burners", I'm thinking how much time do you have?? She looked so overwhelmed searching the shelf stacked with various "miracle" pills, desparate to find the "best" one. Now I need to preface this post with some honesty, I DO use thermagenics/fat burners during my training, but more so to A.) provide some energy, B.)help surpress some cravings and C.) maybe help accelarate fat loss. If you noticed fat loss was last on the list because its really about my training and eating that attribute to a lean physique rather than popping a pill. The fitness models on these ads live and breathe a fit healthy life and yes a supplement can help, but a supplement does exactly that: it SUPPLEMENTS a healthy eating and training plan.

The first question I asked was "well are you looking for something pre-workout" and then followed up with "how is your eating" her response was "well eating right and exercise really haven't worked for me. WHAT?? I did my best in the short few minutes I had to give the most solid advice I could, even recommending more natrual approaches (green tea extract, l-carnatine etc) and taking these things PRE-WORKOUT!

We live in a quick fix society, in my opinion that does not work in regards to being fit. 20 min 3 times a week and crash dieting doesn't cut it, at least not for me or 99% of the people out there. If it were as easy as a pair of sneakers that give you a supermodel behind or a pill that will make you look like a top fitness competitor wouldn't we all be there??? I am not judging this girl, because my god I have been her, looking for that cutting edge product that would solve my yo-yo weight loss ways. But at the end of the day, I knew what I needed to do. Eat right, train hard and indulge in moderation.. Its not flashy but it works!

Crunch time

So I'm here again, 18 days to train hard and get ready for the "show". I'm excited but also a little nervous. I feel better about being on stage, but its still something I struggle with, this is a bigger show than last time so that adds to my anxiety a little. I cried during my workout yesterday. I refused to do some complicated exercise combo my trainer was trying to show me, and he got pissed and walked out of the basketball court. I sat on the bench and cried like a little girl, there was more going on than just the workout, some negative feedback about my new found love of training got to me this week. This is something I love, something that has made me healthier, happier and dedicated, but there are still people who question it or slam my commitment to competing. I attribute most of my reaction to being under 3 weeks till the competition, I've worked so hard, I'm tired and a more emotional than normal.
today was a better day, and I realized I don't have to explain myself to anyone. This is my choice and if you don't agree, well guess what I DON'T CARE.

My success isn't defined by a medal, trophy or first place in any category in which I choose to compete. My success is meeting the goal I set for myself. That goal has always been to be the healthiest I could be, without being extreme and/or miserable in my pursuit to be fit. The competition was never the goal, it was the necessary ingredient for me to stay the course and it worked!

anyways.. heading back to the gym for my 2nd cardio session of the day. Love the way I feel after a good sweat:)

Ouch

Its hard to believe after training this long with my trainer that I can still be SO SORE after a leg workout. I attribute that to his creative brain, and coming up with new ways to shock my system. The reason why many stop seeing results is due to lack of variety, doing the same routine, same cardio, same split, same intensity, they plateau, get frustrated YADA YADA. I can honestly say we have never done the same workout twice. EVER. Yes we train the same body parts on certain days, but we always hit them in a variety of ways. Sometimes slow and heavy, sometimes faster, more supersets, less rest etc. Every 6-8 weeks completely changing my split and tweaking weak areas.

I started posing and practicing my T walk. This is the toughest part for me. The "SHOW" part. I am hoping to clean up my stage presence and be able to rock it a little better than last time, But I'm just more comfortable banging out a tough training day in the gym HA HA. I definitely feel more confident and comfortable and I'm actually looking forward to the show:)

The diet is extremely clean and strict, but its not too tough this time around. I am more used to it, but am still dreaming of Pbutter and Dark chocolate.
23 days!!

NFL KIck OFF

So today it literally one of my favorite days of the year. Pats opening day. Normally paired with my home made wings and a side of my margaritas, but instead water and protein. Today is a "rest" day, no carbs, my day consists of protein, veggies and lots of water..
Boring? Yes. But it is what it is and I'm excited about kicking ass for the next 27 days in preparation for Oct 9th.
I got a bunch of emails and feedback this week, asking for advice, sending well wishes and just letting me know that I "inspired them". Not to be corny but I was so touched! I've learned that training for something like this is rewarding and fulfilling, but a little lonely at times. So thanks to everyone and your encouraging words and feedback!

31 days

Today was just an amazing day. I'm coming off an exhausting weekend that feels like one big pool party BBQ not to mention we threw our son an amazing surprise 13th Bday that lasted 2 days (his first all nighter, a rite of passage for a new teen). Its tough to be social this close to a competition, but I managed to make it through 100% sticking to the plan. Its not a matter of hoping I don't slip, because I won't give in to temptation, but trying to not be a total bitch while hosting these eating/drinking festivals! Fortunately my friends are supportive and understanding, giving me moral support while sipping their glasses of chilled white wine and eating a smores.. LOL. My husband is still "smiling and waving" and avoiding me on low carb days..
Anyways back to my AMAZING day. It hit me today is 31 days until my 2nd Figure competition, and it just feels entirely different this time. I feel stronger, happier and more adjusted to this lifestyle. I have never trained harder for anything and it feels so good to be this dedicated. This isn't just working out and eating right, for me its a sport. You have to live and breathe this for months leading up to a show, and to be honest I love it. I love knowing what I'm doing in the gym or that I get an increase in carbs on my toughest training days. I love being able to do chin ups and things I see only guys do. I love pushing myself (or having my trainer push me) harder than I think I can go. Sometimes its actually hard for me to shut it off, I am better this time about actually "resting" on my rest days. I have been guilty of heading out for a run on a Sunday because I'm "bored"... And of course its amazing to see the physical changes in my body, to look better at 35 after 2 kids then in my 20's is quite an accomplishment. To not struggle with body image or never feeling good enough which has more to do with my emotional journey rather than the physical. I am ok with never being "perfect" because there is no such thing.
For the first time I am not comparing myself to anyone else. I am proud of me and what I've accomplished. I can appreciate someone doing the same thing and be inspired by their success. I am not saying this is easy because there are days when its really hard. I cried the other night, no reason just wanted to be normal, have a cookie and some wine and relax like everyone else. I choose to keep that to myself because this is a choice and I refuse to feel sorry for myself or act like I have to do this. I came back down and joined the group with my casein protein pudding (amazing amazing amazing, all protein no fat or sugar pre-bed treat, this is a saving grace to my training) and I was ok.
Today was leg day. Love training legs. Love getting more carbs after training legs. LOVE LOVE LOVE good carbs.
my workouts this week:
Monday-Total body kick in the ass functional day.
Tues- Cardio/core 50 min interval on stairmaster 100 steps per min 1 min, 70 steps per min 1 min for 50 min.
Wednesday- LEGS!
Thursday- 6am cardio, 11amCHEST/SHOULDERS/TRIS/ABS
Friday-6 am Cardio 11 am Back/Bi's
Saturday-hamstring/glutes/ABS cardio
Sunday-REST DAY